So, some of you have been curious about a term I use regularly: fakeship. I have come up with a series of questions and hope I am able to clearly define this term for you. So, here it goes.
What is a fakeship?
A fakeship is that middle ground between acquaintance and an actual friendship. There is occasional dialog with little or no substance. The rare drunk "hey, what's up text!". Mainly seen by the public on social media sites such as Facebook or Twitter. It may appear to the general public that these people hang out all the time, best of buds. When in reality these two people don't give a crap about each others real problems or what they are dealing with rather just interested in , subconsciously, keeping up appearances of a normal connection between two people. Besides the cyber connection they don't speak or see each other outside of these realms normally.
How do they start?
Typically through actual friends, coworkers, or local churches. Fakeships aren't tied to any one race,gender, community type, religion, or part of the country. They start with a text or another person liking your FB status about the lack of parking spaces at your local supermarket. There is a connection, maybe even the basis of a real friendship but for what ever reason nothing moves past the fakeship stage.
How do you maintain a fakeship?
Mainly by social media, texting or brief encounters at large social gatherings such as holiday parties, conferences, PTA or church meetings. There are hugs and quick catches up before hitting the food or wine (if provided) Side note: alcohol can be a great fuel for a fake ship if used properly. Once one-two drinks have been consumed, depending on tolerance, the entire room could be in a fake ship with you! However, just as with alcohol moderation is the key.
Is there any benefit or harm to having one or more fakeships?
The short answer to both is no. The harm can be that if one acquires too many fakeships and not retaining any real friendships or relationships. The benefit is you get invited to a lot of parties, you'll have a lot of network connections. Again, moderation is the key.
How many fakeships can you have?
That's the beauty of it. See, these fakeships take little amounts of maintenance just enough social front to make it appear that there is substance there. With the minimal energy spent on fake ships the possibilities are endless.
There is a lot that you have mentioned about the qualities of a fakeship that are also in most friendships,what's the difference?
Point blank : the difference between a friendship and a fakeship is at the end of the day real friends give a shit. When you're not at your best. When someone close to you dies. When you're wrong. When you're a mess. They don't distance themselves, nope, they continue to just be there. They don't try to fix it or give you a scripture prescription for your problem. They care about the random, the weird, and the mundane parts of your life. Fakeships when faced with the slightest problems dissolve quicker than they even began.
At the end of the day I personally would rather have 2-3 real friendships than 5000 fakeships. So, carry on, we are all guilty at some point or another of fostering a fakeship or two. Just be aware of what's real and what's not and the potential danger of too many fakeships. Again, as in all things, moderation.
