A prayer for those who are dealing with loss

So, I've been intrigued by prayer over the last few months. On continuing my journery to invest in prayer, I've decided over the next 7 days to focus and pray for specific things. I'll be posting them on here.  I invite you to pray with me as your heart leads you. If you want to text, call, message or even meet me on any of the days (as schedules see fit) I'm more than happy to do so.  May our hearts and words focus on uplifting each other. May our minds focus on Him. May we be open to what He  has to show us. 

A prayer for those who are dealing with loss

Father,

This void hurts

This is hard 

We don't understand and we are not ok

We are grieving, hurting, and crying 

We can't bear the pain 

Help us to remember the hope you bring us

The love you embrace us with while we process this loss

Hold our hearts, wipe away our tears 

Thank you for moments of healing through our loved ones around us, your word, and your spirit 

Amen 

Tuna on flight 1680

Boarding the plane from a wonderful time in paradise back home.

Back to funerals, business trips, and daily traffic commutes with spilled coffee and mild cursing  during merging. Daily routine slips back into the drivers seat. Sniff sniff. Is that...tuna? It's annoying enough to hear crying babies or to sit in a cramped seat...but tuna...come on.

The flight attendant flutters by "alrighty folks you're setting in an exit row. Are you able and willing to assist in the case of an emergency?" I answered "sure" as if I had a choice.  I was apathetic but the lady next to me accepted her honor a little more seriously than I.  As if sitting in the exit row gave her this power and prestige over the other patrons. Her gain of control over the task of potentially saving lives was odd...odd like that smell of tuna. 

I would say i don't like to be in control, but i would be lying. I like knowing. I like having direction. I liked controlled chaos. I'd like to snatch that tuna sand which and throw it out the window and watch it fall through the clouds. But I couldn't just get up from my exit row throne and lunge over the seats now could I? I had no control. I could only accept.

But that's life. The more control I thought I had the less I actually had. As I reflected on how little control I had over my life I began to feel myself aging. A little wisdom, with a new epiphany came a wrinkle. I felt small, like a slowing fading shadow. To sit in an upright seat, fasten seatbelt and be forced to reflect was painful. To realize the two drastic sides of life was gut churning . Time slid its crusty feeble hand into mine and it took me to this place.

This place where life  is kind until it morphs into death. Desperately grasping my faith like a bar of slippery soap. Where my memories aren't even real just mere perspectives of bits and pieces of broken reality. What was even real? The tuna. The tuna was real. My emotions. My emotions were real. My pain. My pain was real. Real but fading. My emotions, my pain, the tuna smell. Inhale....exhale...inhale...oh nope tuna smell still there.

Sitting upright, seatbelt fasten, tuna fading ......release 

Soul repair

Soul repair 

At my souls birth it was fresh and clean and whole

As time wears on my soul begins to fade

A fear

A slur 

A hurt

A hangup

The tiny flaws grow as vines and wraps tightly around my soul 

Suffering, anguish, and death infests the souls walls 

Then one day the spirt spoke and breathed life into me 

The vines began to shrivel and die 

And my soul was released from the chains that it weighed down 

Now I can breathe 

Not as before 

But alive with the ability to exhale 

I began to gather scraps 

A love

A song

A kiss

A kind word

The tiny experiences are as patches holding my soul together

Waiting for full restoration 

Love, hope, and light want to flood my soul 

Until then my patches and scraps will hold my soul together for now

The Jesus diet

Beep beep beep beep.......snooze.......beep beep beep beep. Feet hit the floor and you take your stroll to the bathroom and you look in the mirror, little extra belly flab exposed  from your shirt. Not feeling the best you step onto the scale. Sigh. Making your way into the kitchen you have time to grab a bagel or the powdered donuts  left over from a week ago. Time for a diet. Now if you're like most people you see that little extra flab and start this revolutionary diet to lose the weight and return to normal eating habits once you reach your goal.

I see a similar trend in the church. We see the flab, the flaws or needs, and we start the diet. We go to church and get our fix. We show up and try to cleanse ourselves of all the carbs, sugars and fats. Some may even begin this spiritual anorexia where they starve themselves  in order to be what they desire. Or spiritual bulimia where they gorge on spiritual meanings and church systems.  We get on the new workout or diet bandwagon until we see that piece of cake or side of French fries.

In reality the carbs, sugars and fats are not bad for us its about context and moderation of a balanced diet. Just as the dancing, alcohol, and "secular" music are not bad for us it's about context and moderation of a balanced life.

The key to a balanced life is not extreme dieting or cutting out all sources of carbs. The key is moderation and making it a lifestyle. When you treat the church as a diet there is no change, no lifestyle. When you treat the church as a diet you're only using it to get what you want out of it:weight lose vs a lifestyle of living a healthy life. 

So don't suffer from spiritual anorexia, don't deprive yourself of living a balance life. Don't  gorge yourself on the churches systems and regulations. The church is meant to be only a supplement to main thing:Jesus. Jesus the picture of God who paints a picture of how I want to live life.

Stuck in the 80's

Remember those pictures from the 80s? Did we not look ridiculous? At the time whatever fashion trend was rearing its ugly head we were on board. Wind breakers, mullets, and hammer pants .......you name it. I can't believe my mom dressed me that way or I wanted to dress that way. I thought I was in the now and most current. I was in no need of an upgrade.

What if they never updated your iPhone  or your car? Would you want to still be walking around with a phone that couldn't text or take pictures? Cranking your engine to start your car? Upgrades. Same with equality. Same way with how we interpret scripture. Same with our understanding of humanity. Without an upgrade will we not look back and say "wow we looked ridiculous?" I believe that somethings don't change like loving your neighbor, living a holy life, be a contributing member of society. I do believe that how we are able to do these things will change. The vehicle in which we live these out adapt to the culture in which we live. 

There is a difference between adapting to culture and becoming culture. Adapting to culture is recognizing what is happening around you and being relevant to be able to communicate ideas, opinions and thought processes. Becoming culture is transforming into  what culture already believes and thinks while abandoning your original mindset. Now, what I pray and hope for is transforming culture where I have my mindset of beliefs and along with adapting to be relevant within culture I have the ability to influence culture in such a way that it changes. 

So, back to the picture. How will you appreciate your naive perception of "fashion" looking back at it now? Has it played a part in your fashion choices now? Well, be thankful for the questionable choices you made on how to wear your hair or what shoes to wear on your feet........ they helped you make you who you are today.  So, this is a thank you to all the bad perms and jelly sandals who made me who I am today. May we not stay stuck in the 80's. Be thankful for your journey but it is time for an upgrade. 

Writers block

As I'm continuing my adventure of writing a book I've come a bit of a block. However I've gathering all my insight and blocked them into the following chapters.

1. The suit, the tie and the pulpit said so.

2. What is a terrorist?

3. Jesus the picture of the true God

4.God is not a terrorist 

5.No more tears, no more sorrow, no  more shit

6.The upside down kingdom

So taking a break for now but hoping to pick back up mid June in writing 

Hands folded and now what?

Prayer 

Ephesians 6:18 

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. (NIV)

I'm seeking to follow a homeless Jewish man named Jesus who wanted to share how big Gods love is for all humanity. To do that prayer is mixed in there somewhere. However, it may sound strange, but I'm trying to get back into prayers and as of now to do that I'm reciting something I wrote. 

One for those that I'm in direct contact with.

 I pray that those whom I speak, touch,and sense  see your light in me as your spirit guides me.  That through touch of hand, speech or heart you connect us to you father. 

Two for those that I'm not in direct contact with. I pray that those whom I can not see, touch or sense find your peace and rest through your spirit and in their soul. That through prayer, nature, or art you connect us to you father. 

Amen